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3.16.2017
Yellow Planetary Human. GAP day (Galactic Activation Portal).

I PERFECT in order to Influence
Producing Wisdom
I seal the Process of Free-Will
with the Planetary Tone of Manifestation
I am guided by the power of Universal Fire.
I am a Galactic Activation Portal…enter me!

Solar Moon of Intention (Moon 9 of the Jaguar). How do I attain my Purpose?

It’s been almost 2 and a half years since I last wrote here :/
(I should make a tradition out of writing you on your birthday…telling you what things are like that year in your life. But I’ll write about Life’s Current Settings anyway, even if we are 3 months shy of your 7th.)

Well…it’s been 9 months after your 6th year. I’m struggling to stay awake to write this. It’s 11.27pm a day past mid-March of Gregorian 2017.

You fell asleep pretty late tonight…roughly 9pm, since we had to finish making a project of yours due tomorrow. (Today you had a field trip to a ranch in Bucerias, your 2nd…your first field trip, on your first year in elementary, was to the dinky zoo in Puerto Vallarta. Yes…we still live here.)

Apparently, you want to be a dancer when you grow up! ❤ ❤ ❤
(Your homework was to make a presentation about what profession you would like to have when you are older.)

When I was around your age I yearned to take ballet classes too, you know? I remember one summer in Virac…there was some kind of center where my cousin Bic & I went to take classes. They had ballet there…but somehow I ended up in the piano class instead, which sucked because I really wanted to dance.

You’re in first grade now; doing very well in school (this bimester you averaged 9.8 in Spanish, and 9.9 in English). I’ve decided to transfer you though. Your campus now is green and great…my main reason for choosing the school, but they have a serious organizational and communication problem…which has left me with a not-so-great taste in my mouth. You’re finishing out the year there, of course…and I’ve already enrolled you in another school where your ex-English teacher now teaches (Ms Lupita, Ceci, your sometimes nanny’s aunt who is extremely passionate about kids…she quit the green school because of some tension with administration)…but just today I thought about putting you in the all-girl’s public school downtown. We’ll see how things turn out…

Things are changing, Love. Nothing visible as yet…but I can feel it coming.

You are growing so freakin’ fast though! That, everyone can see. (You know all the swear words by now, and every time I say them you gasp in disbelief. LOL.) You have long and strong legs, wavy hair, bright eyes and the most beautiful smile…but your heart is the most beautiful of all. You are even sweeter than you were before, so considerate, so generous, so forgiving, so loving.

Every day I thank Great Spirit for granting me the honor of Mothering you. Some days I do better than others. But you are very patient with me, and every night when we pray, I thank God for your understanding and love.

Do you remember your 5th year, mi Amorcita?

We went to the Philippines. I finally circled back shortly before marking 11 years away from home (I left in July 6, 2005), and you went for the first time to my Father’s land, to meet him. He passed shortly after we arrived, but we made it on time…it was bittersweet, and you were my rock. It has been almost a year since.

We went to Virac, that place where my dream of being a dancer was not realized (I have since taken 1 dance workshop, when you were 4…it was very liberating), and you also met your aunt Bic, and her son Harry, along with Auntie Nana and Sofia’s kids, my aunts and uncles, as well as most of your second cousins…the kids of my first cousins…basically most of my side of your family, the Filipino part of you. You tasted taho for the first time, pancit canton, pancit malabon, longganisa, dirty ice cream ( ❤ ❤ ❤ ), fish ball, kikiam, and we learned that you like sopas. 🙂 You’re a great travel-buddy!

It was your last year in kindergarten Tenochtitlan too, and now that you are 6 and already in elementary, you still haven’t forgotten your crush from back then…his name is Sebastian. 🙂

You are so wise, my darling. I opened up to someone when you were 5 (he was there when you turned 6)…who became very much a part of our lives that year, except things didn’t quite work out. One day I crumbled and when you saw me in tears you said “It doesn’t matter what he says Mami…what matters is that I am your daughter.” Not a single teardrop shed after that. You taught me Acceptance. Months later, you casually said you missed him and his crazy black dog…you taught me Forgiveness.

I can’t thank you enough for all you have given me. All my sacrifices to raise you are merely a humble offering, given in gratitude for all that I learn from you, your Light, and your Love. You truly are an Enlightened One. Has my childhood ambition now been realized then? (When I was growing up…instead of a doctor, teacher, architect, etc…I wanted to be a saint.)

Thank You for Being Here, Querida. Your prEssence is like no other.
I love you always, in all ways.

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In Memoriam

My father passed on April 22nd, 2016. Born the 25th of January, 1945, he was 71 years old.

It had already been a long time since I saw him last. I left Manila for a trip to Mexico on July 6th, 2005, and didn’t return until April 13th of this year.

My original plan was to visit later this year, in July, for at least a month. But my dad was hospitalized in early April, and waiting until then didn’t seem like a good idea.

I’m glad I didn’t wait. And I am so grateful for how “easy” it was for me to get here…from getting our US visas (from Mexico to Manila, passing through the US is the fastest and cheapest way to go) – including scheduling the interviews, having a place to stay that was close to the embassy, going around town, the interview itself, and getting our passports back – to purchasing the tickets, and missing 3 weeks of work…everyone has been so incredibly supportive and loving during this time…I am infinitely grateful. ♡♡♡

10 years, almost 11, actually.
Despite the way technology has been able to bring people living on opposite sides of the globe closer, Papa and I didn’t really form that cybernetic bond. Yes, we texted once in a while…but he wasn’t on Facebook, nor did we Skype or use any other video chat service.

Bummer…a bit.
I guess at the end of the day we were so connected that we didn’t need that kind of noospheric communication…we were into telepathy! 😉

My father introduced me to All That Is Divine. He opened my Heart and my Spirit to a realm where Myth, Mystery and Magic abound.

When I arrived we talked and caught up (the next evening we went back to the ICU, and his condition steadily declined from thereon)…funny how he asked about my trip to the desert, which was my biggest spiritual awakening and something that marked my path like no other heart-opening experience did.

I am so grateful my daughter Ananta Malaya was able to meet my father when he was still relatively strong, and not when he was already frail and in the hospital. They hugged, and talked in her mother tongue – Spanish, a language he learned when he was in Mexico, trying to win my mom over. Oh Love!

As a tribute to my first love (Papa)…a new and colorful scar, close to one I already have for my biggest love (Ananta)…

whole back

Ang Sarimanok ni Tete

Tete…the name people knew the Hon. Jose Ubalde Alberto Jr. by – my father.
A manok (rooster), because he was very much into cockfighting, and the Sarimanok…because it is a medium to the spirit world, etc.

I love you, Pa. Always, in all ways.

*Thank you to Mia Loca of Chronic Ink Philippines, for my wonderful new tattoo.

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Dirty Dancing

Sweeping I can take…but mopping?
Ugh!
Its just not my favorite thing to do. 😦

Its no big secret…I EXTREMELY DISLIKE mopping. (versus hate..its too strong a word)
I even got one of those squishy buckets so you don’t have to wring the dirty water out with your hands…but it doesn’t really change how I feel about it. :S

DSC_1191-1

the squisher of the squishy bucket

I’m not sure why. It may just be a general aversion to doing housework (ha!), but at the end of the day (week?), since nobody else will do any of it, then I do.
(I may be lazy, but I like living nicely too you know. 🙂 )

DSC_1093

little things i have to up around the house ❤

professional friend suggested to think of mopping as my Meditation…the same way you look at all the work you do in an ashram, she said.
Smarty pants that bi-atch of mine! She knows I have a thing for Making Everything Sacred. ❤

So have I meditated this week yet?
Not with the mop, I haven‘t. :S

I’ve written a bit (with a pen and paper). Moved the body too. (more of both is needed)
But I am yet to do a dirty dance number with the mop. 😦

Ooh!
Now that’s more inspiring…
Bring out the incense sitcks!

DSC_1149

when everything’s clean, life is serene

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When It Feels Big…

It’s tonight, actually…what I’m preparing for.

I’ve had several dreams and visions as to what I want to create in my Life, but only recently did I start to take all of it seriously. I’ve worked with my mentor on 2 separate group programs before, but this time we’re doing 1-1.
Intense. Intimate (which freaks the frick out of me). Enlightening.

He asked me to perform ritual of some kind to mark my commitment to my Vision. My first thoughts were a Temazcal (aka sweat lodge) on the full moon (Wednesday next, 10.8.2014), but The Bigger Picture had bigger plans for me…
No Temazcal next week, but there is one tonight…followed by an Ayahuasca Ceremony.
Yes, my Soul said. Lets do this.

But how to prepare for something so big?

After getting the basic details down (who, when, where, what and how of it all), and making work and home arrangements (funny…somebody else was already working my same hours, so asking to getting tomorrow off and an earlier time today was not as difficult. Winking back at you, Universe! 😉 ), physical, mental, emotional and spiritual preparations were needed…

Sleeping bag – check!
Backpack – check!
Contents of backpack – check!
Medicine bag – check!
Contents of Medicine Bag – check!

Let's do this

Felt like I was packing for the desert

Cleared the Body – a little bit of movement & abstinence (an odd pair, but what the heck)
Cleared the Mind – little bit of journaling + lots of reflection
Cleared the Heart – acknowledged and stayed with all the emotions that came up, even the fear
Cleared the Soul – with a little bit of Song

staring blankly into Space helps calm the Mind

staring blankly into Space helps calm the Mind

This Is IT.
I’m diving deep.
So help me, God.

#dp

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What School?

A fellow blogger was intrigued by the idea of Soul School when I mentioned it on the previous post. Indeed…it does seem like something that could be found in Neutopia.

You know that saying “It takes a Village to raise a Child“?
Well, it is one of the basic tenets of SS. Because for the school, its collaborators and the children to thrive, active participation of The Whole Village is required.
Community is key.

So, what IS Soul School?

In a nutshell…It Is an EVOLutionary Educational Center for Children from Pre-School to Prepa Age.

The Idea of Soul School first came to me when Ananta was still a baby, but my Soul started to whisper it into my consciousness well before she was conceived.

Early in my University days, I was drawn to the idea of practicing Yoga. I never did take any classes until after I got my engineering degree (took me 6 years!), and even then I didn’t enroll in that Ashtanga class until a year or two into my stay-cation in Mexico (I went on vacation, and have not returned since). This was when I had a job and the moolah to actually pay for a class. 😀 But not long after, I quit slaving away for “The Man” and went in search of The Woman I Am. ❤

For a year, I became a Rainbow-Making Tree-Hugger slash Compost-Mixer. Somewhere around that time I told my co-workers I was going to a 4-day prayer ceremony…and didn’t return till 2 months later. 😀

vista hermosa

Backpacking to Tenochtitlan, camping behind the pyramids,
losing all my stuff, finding a bunch of feathers as compensation;
walking up and down mountains,
dreaming with my Spirit guides,
singing in the desert,
finding my Medicine…
they were The Most Magical Days of my life.

plant yourself strong

desert 172 - Estacion Wadley, Mexico

As fate would have it, I returned to the city, close to the sea. From here, I walk into a New World & Being, as those across the wild Pacific hold vigil for my dreams. The Land of my Birth awaits my return…

Soul School.

We learn in a circle, from the ground UP, under trees or thatched roofs…palapa, they call them here…kubo, back home. (not in chairs, lined up in rows, with the teacher standing)

We learn to Work The Land, Hunt, Build, Beautify, Meditate, Appreciate;

Re-Create Time,
Commune with the Stars,
Feed to the Fire, Flow with the Waters,
Honor
the Sacred Air We Share.

We learn to Read the Sky,
Count our Blessings,
Experiment with Possibility,
Speak our Truth.

Here,
We tend to the Temple, our Bodies
Listen to the Voices of the Mind
Open The Heart
Free The Spirit.

Here,
We School the Soul.

We’re Championing the Star Children.

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Life’s Current Settings

Amorcita Ananta,

It’s 1.24am.
You are sleeping of course, and a dream about Felipe Calderon, Mexico’s previous president, giving a speech about the True Function of Government, woke me.
We are in Mexico (Puerto Vallarta, where you were born), and yesterday the country celebrated 204 years of independence from Spanish rule. (Whether Mexicans and the rest of the modern world are truly free is another story.)

image

Its funny…I write to you now in English, because my brain thinks in this language (even if I was born in the Philippines, another ex-Spanish colony), but your brain currently speaks in Spanish, the Mexican kind.

You’re learning a lot in school, growing faster than I could have ever imagined possible, but you like it…school, I mean…for the moment anyway. 🙂

My Dream though, is to educate you myself, as did my Mama, your Abuelita, until I entered first grade at 6 years old. But The Dream is to create Soul School…a Progressive + Evolutionary Learning Center for (Star) Children. I was to build it for you…alas! I am no where near! But dont worry! Since the curriculum will be based on Yogic principles, I’ve almost completed my Teacher Training requirements, and already specialized in Kids Yoga. We’re getting there, Baby!

I’ve come to realize however, that while the world needs for us all to wake up and act ASAP, it doesn’t mean it all has to be realized NOW. You are young and you are my priority (after Spirit, and my Self), not a class of God-lings, much less a whole school of you.

In the meantime, Life revolves around morning rituals (Alone Time before you wake, then slowly transitioning your Body+Mind from Dream Time to Waking Life), breakfast + prepping for the rest of the day, kindergarten then daycare for you/work at Mexico Fun for me, reuniting in the late afternoon, shower + dinner together, evening rituals (brushing teeth, story-telling, praying then lullabies/mantras), and some time after you sleep…writing. Whether it’s for the completion of the new book (Evolutionary Erotica compilation), the blog (this one, or the other one), or simply chronicling dreams in my journal…it’s part of life.

2.23am. The computer is still scanning and is at 9%. I’m “writing” this on to my phone. Funny how when I was a kid writing actually meant using your hand (right or left), a pen/cil and paper…but now tapping your fingers on a small screen is considered writing too.

Things change, Love. Beings Evolve…always, in all ways. Remember that, and Be Conscious about It. I love you.

Hasta El Infinito,
Mami ❤

#writing 101