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3.16.2017
Yellow Planetary Human. GAP day (Galactic Activation Portal).

I PERFECT in order to Influence
Producing Wisdom
I seal the Process of Free-Will
with the Planetary Tone of Manifestation
I am guided by the power of Universal Fire.
I am a Galactic Activation Portal…enter me!

Solar Moon of Intention (Moon 9 of the Jaguar). How do I attain my Purpose?

It’s been almost 2 and a half years since I last wrote here :/
(I should make a tradition out of writing you on your birthday…telling you what things are like that year in your life. But I’ll write about Life’s Current Settings anyway, even if we are 3 months shy of your 7th.)

Well…it’s been 9 months after your 6th year. I’m struggling to stay awake to write this. It’s 11.27pm a day past mid-March of Gregorian 2017.

You fell asleep pretty late tonight…roughly 9pm, since we had to finish making a project of yours due tomorrow. (Today you had a field trip to a ranch in Bucerias, your 2nd…your first field trip, on your first year in elementary, was to the dinky zoo in Puerto Vallarta. Yes…we still live here.)

Apparently, you want to be a dancer when you grow up! ❤ ❤ ❤
(Your homework was to make a presentation about what profession you would like to have when you are older.)

When I was around your age I yearned to take ballet classes too, you know? I remember one summer in Virac…there was some kind of center where my cousin Bic & I went to take classes. They had ballet there…but somehow I ended up in the piano class instead, which sucked because I really wanted to dance.

You’re in first grade now; doing very well in school (this bimester you averaged 9.8 in Spanish, and 9.9 in English). I’ve decided to transfer you though. Your campus now is green and great…my main reason for choosing the school, but they have a serious organizational and communication problem…which has left me with a not-so-great taste in my mouth. You’re finishing out the year there, of course…and I’ve already enrolled you in another school where your ex-English teacher now teaches (Ms Lupita, Ceci, your sometimes nanny’s aunt who is extremely passionate about kids…she quit the green school because of some tension with administration)…but just today I thought about putting you in the all-girl’s public school downtown. We’ll see how things turn out…

Things are changing, Love. Nothing visible as yet…but I can feel it coming.

You are growing so freakin’ fast though! That, everyone can see. (You know all the swear words by now, and every time I say them you gasp in disbelief. LOL.) You have long and strong legs, wavy hair, bright eyes and the most beautiful smile…but your heart is the most beautiful of all. You are even sweeter than you were before, so considerate, so generous, so forgiving, so loving.

Every day I thank Great Spirit for granting me the honor of Mothering you. Some days I do better than others. But you are very patient with me, and every night when we pray, I thank God for your understanding and love.

Do you remember your 5th year, mi Amorcita?

We went to the Philippines. I finally circled back shortly before marking 11 years away from home (I left in July 6, 2005), and you went for the first time to my Father’s land, to meet him. He passed shortly after we arrived, but we made it on time…it was bittersweet, and you were my rock. It has been almost a year since.

We went to Virac, that place where my dream of being a dancer was not realized (I have since taken 1 dance workshop, when you were 4…it was very liberating), and you also met your aunt Bic, and her son Harry, along with Auntie Nana and Sofia’s kids, my aunts and uncles, as well as most of your second cousins…the kids of my first cousins…basically most of my side of your family, the Filipino part of you. You tasted taho for the first time, pancit canton, pancit malabon, longganisa, dirty ice cream ( ❤ ❤ ❤ ), fish ball, kikiam, and we learned that you like sopas. 🙂 You’re a great travel-buddy!

It was your last year in kindergarten Tenochtitlan too, and now that you are 6 and already in elementary, you still haven’t forgotten your crush from back then…his name is Sebastian. 🙂

You are so wise, my darling. I opened up to someone when you were 5 (he was there when you turned 6)…who became very much a part of our lives that year, except things didn’t quite work out. One day I crumbled and when you saw me in tears you said “It doesn’t matter what he says Mami…what matters is that I am your daughter.” Not a single teardrop shed after that. You taught me Acceptance. Months later, you casually said you missed him and his crazy black dog…you taught me Forgiveness.

I can’t thank you enough for all you have given me. All my sacrifices to raise you are merely a humble offering, given in gratitude for all that I learn from you, your Light, and your Love. You truly are an Enlightened One. Has my childhood ambition now been realized then? (When I was growing up…instead of a doctor, teacher, architect, etc…I wanted to be a saint.)

Thank You for Being Here, Querida. Your prEssence is like no other.
I love you always, in all ways.

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What School?

A fellow blogger was intrigued by the idea of Soul School when I mentioned it on the previous post. Indeed…it does seem like something that could be found in Neutopia.

You know that saying “It takes a Village to raise a Child“?
Well, it is one of the basic tenets of SS. Because for the school, its collaborators and the children to thrive, active participation of The Whole Village is required.
Community is key.

So, what IS Soul School?

In a nutshell…It Is an EVOLutionary Educational Center for Children from Pre-School to Prepa Age.

The Idea of Soul School first came to me when Ananta was still a baby, but my Soul started to whisper it into my consciousness well before she was conceived.

Early in my University days, I was drawn to the idea of practicing Yoga. I never did take any classes until after I got my engineering degree (took me 6 years!), and even then I didn’t enroll in that Ashtanga class until a year or two into my stay-cation in Mexico (I went on vacation, and have not returned since). This was when I had a job and the moolah to actually pay for a class. 😀 But not long after, I quit slaving away for “The Man” and went in search of The Woman I Am. ❤

For a year, I became a Rainbow-Making Tree-Hugger slash Compost-Mixer. Somewhere around that time I told my co-workers I was going to a 4-day prayer ceremony…and didn’t return till 2 months later. 😀

vista hermosa

Backpacking to Tenochtitlan, camping behind the pyramids,
losing all my stuff, finding a bunch of feathers as compensation;
walking up and down mountains,
dreaming with my Spirit guides,
singing in the desert,
finding my Medicine…
they were The Most Magical Days of my life.

plant yourself strong

desert 172 - Estacion Wadley, Mexico

As fate would have it, I returned to the city, close to the sea. From here, I walk into a New World & Being, as those across the wild Pacific hold vigil for my dreams. The Land of my Birth awaits my return…

Soul School.

We learn in a circle, from the ground UP, under trees or thatched roofs…palapa, they call them here…kubo, back home. (not in chairs, lined up in rows, with the teacher standing)

We learn to Work The Land, Hunt, Build, Beautify, Meditate, Appreciate;

Re-Create Time,
Commune with the Stars,
Feed to the Fire, Flow with the Waters,
Honor
the Sacred Air We Share.

We learn to Read the Sky,
Count our Blessings,
Experiment with Possibility,
Speak our Truth.

Here,
We tend to the Temple, our Bodies
Listen to the Voices of the Mind
Open The Heart
Free The Spirit.

Here,
We School the Soul.

We’re Championing the Star Children.

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Life’s Current Settings

Amorcita Ananta,

It’s 1.24am.
You are sleeping of course, and a dream about Felipe Calderon, Mexico’s previous president, giving a speech about the True Function of Government, woke me.
We are in Mexico (Puerto Vallarta, where you were born), and yesterday the country celebrated 204 years of independence from Spanish rule. (Whether Mexicans and the rest of the modern world are truly free is another story.)

image

Its funny…I write to you now in English, because my brain thinks in this language (even if I was born in the Philippines, another ex-Spanish colony), but your brain currently speaks in Spanish, the Mexican kind.

You’re learning a lot in school, growing faster than I could have ever imagined possible, but you like it…school, I mean…for the moment anyway. 🙂

My Dream though, is to educate you myself, as did my Mama, your Abuelita, until I entered first grade at 6 years old. But The Dream is to create Soul School…a Progressive + Evolutionary Learning Center for (Star) Children. I was to build it for you…alas! I am no where near! But dont worry! Since the curriculum will be based on Yogic principles, I’ve almost completed my Teacher Training requirements, and already specialized in Kids Yoga. We’re getting there, Baby!

I’ve come to realize however, that while the world needs for us all to wake up and act ASAP, it doesn’t mean it all has to be realized NOW. You are young and you are my priority (after Spirit, and my Self), not a class of God-lings, much less a whole school of you.

In the meantime, Life revolves around morning rituals (Alone Time before you wake, then slowly transitioning your Body+Mind from Dream Time to Waking Life), breakfast + prepping for the rest of the day, kindergarten then daycare for you/work at Mexico Fun for me, reuniting in the late afternoon, shower + dinner together, evening rituals (brushing teeth, story-telling, praying then lullabies/mantras), and some time after you sleep…writing. Whether it’s for the completion of the new book (Evolutionary Erotica compilation), the blog (this one, or the other one), or simply chronicling dreams in my journal…it’s part of life.

2.23am. The computer is still scanning and is at 9%. I’m “writing” this on to my phone. Funny how when I was a kid writing actually meant using your hand (right or left), a pen/cil and paper…but now tapping your fingers on a small screen is considered writing too.

Things change, Love. Beings Evolve…always, in all ways. Remember that, and Be Conscious about It. I love you.

Hasta El Infinito,
Mami ❤

#writing 101

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First-time Parent to a Kinder-going Kid

So the other day I found out that enrollment for first-time kindergartners was last week…
Woops!
( First-time parent to a kinder-going kid…BIG FAIL. :S )

Of course I kicked myself for a couple of hours that day, even lashing out on my mom when she asked “how could you forget?“ (Sorry Ma! And yeah, good question…how?!?!) Heaven knows I begged all the angels’ for their help as I moved around my work schedule the next day so I could talk the directress into accepting Ananta…but eventually I forgot about the whole fiasco as I played around with my Spiritual Mandala. ❤

 

At some point that evening I remembered what happened…and had to laugh out loud (literally) when I logged on to FB and first saw this photo on my feed:

 

what-my-guardian-angel-must-look-like-at-times

 

I loved the humor and timing of it all, but the message from the Universe was loud and clear…CHILL. TRUST. ITS ALL GO(O)D.

 

The next day (which I later learned was the last of the school year), I dressed up as respectably as possible for the summer heat, and marched over to Jardin de Niños Tenochtitlan. Despite it being public, I always had a good feeling about the place because of its name, and also because it is a small pre-school (1 class per batch) and its super close to home (2 streets over). My other option was a Montessori school 4 streets over, but the schedule would’ve been too long for lil’A’s first year in official kinder + they have elementary in the same building…potentially intimidating for a shy child like mine. For a number of other reasons it was my first choice, so to say I REALLY wanted Ananta to go there is just about right.

 

Lo and behold…the directress was VERY accommodating. She even said that if I had not come she would have called or emailed me! (Really? A public servant would do that? Faith in good government slightly restored.) AND, all I had to do was fill up a form and that was it!
Holy shit, I wanted to cry!
Thank you Mama-God! Thank you Angels! Thank you Universe!

 

Trust.
BIG lesson for me right now.
You are Exactly where You have To Be in the timeline of your Life…no need to rush, or push so hard for results, or beat yourself up for “screwing up”…there is no such thing because that’s when the lessons are best learned…when they came from your mistakes.

 

Soon enough, Ananta will be learning a whole bunch of things in school…but who is to say it will just be from what the teacher says?
I pray that she learns more from Life than just from the books.
I pray that her teachers, myself included, have much patience, integrity and courage…she is, after all, still learning mostly by example and imitation.

She is not the only one that is going to have to do a little bit of growing in the next few months…

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Everyday is a Holi-day

One thing I love about Mexico is that there is always a reason to party/have a long weekend/laze around.J

I started writing this on Cinco de Mayo. From what I gather, in the US it is celebrated quite massively (big parties, barbeques/carne asadas etc). Some people even think its Mexico‘s Independence Day (it’s not)…I’m not entirely sure as I never lived this Gringo-American way of celebrating this day myself, but here in Mexico, 5 de Mayo is simply the day the Mexicans kicked the French in the ass.
Another one that just passed was Labor Day, celebrated almost all over the world on May 1st. This year it fell on a Thursday (Silio, last day of the Mayan week), but instead they moved the non-working/no-school day to Friday (Dali, first day of the Mayan week). And then there was Saturday (Seli) and Sunday (Gamma), plus 5 de Mayo…so it may have actually been a mega-long weekend and I didn’t even realize it! :S Oh the joys of not using the Gregorian calendar!J
Anyway, my favourite of these last couple of celebratory days was April 30th, el Día Del Niño– Children’s Day. This is another tradition I didn’t grow up with myself, because while in the Philippines everyday there is also a fiesta somewherein its 7,109 islands, we don’t necessarily have Araw ng Kabataan. (We probably should though…)
As a Mom, it was so heart-warming to see and experience Día Del Niño celebrated! On this ONE DAY out of the whole year, The Children are so warmly recognized and acknowledged for Who They Are by all the grown-ups around them. Suddenly, everybody else aside from their parents makes it known to them that we are celebrating their loving and happy Child-prEssence Here, Now. It doesn’t matter if they spilled milk on the newly laundered sheets, or that they wrote their name on the mural wall (or tried to, anyway)…
On this day, they know that the whole world loves and accepts them Just The Way They Are. No need for correction, direction, or instruction. Just their smile is enough.
Ananta was so surprised to have been greeted by one of the cabbies that wait in line at the park’s taxi stand!My heart melted when she looked up to me afterwards, and with her eyes saying “he greeted me, Mom!”
Yes, Love. Today I am not the only one that sees You.
My wish is for everyone that crosses your path to always see the Love from your smile and Light from your eyes, and may you always live in that place of fantasy and dreams, love and wonder, simplicity and contentment.
Every day should be Children’s Day. There would be so much more joy and laughter in the world if it was.
Every day should be Earth Day too (April 22nd). There would be so much more Peace and Prosperity in The World if it was.
My wish is for Every One on Earth to always remember that this planet is a Living Being (her name is Gaia).
May you, Mama Earth, always be magical and mysterious, nurturing and knowing, evolving and wise.

Ananta.
Gaia.

You mean the world to me.


Tenth Moon: Planetary Moon of Manifestation (April 4-May 1)
Totem animal: Dog

How do I perfect what I do?

1. Keep on doing what you’re doing
2. Honor your Home
3. Spend Time wisely
4. Be Free
5. Make Time for You
6. Gather your strength and inspiration, then create
7. Rest
8. Party! J
9. Be flexible
10. Get excited about plans for the future
11. BE happy, DO what you want/need to/can, HAVE Faith+fun
12. Revel in the Mystery
13. Knock all problems out
14. Reach out
15. Endings mean the possibility of a New Beginning – Good Friday
16. Remember that you are Love, and you are loved
17. Blaze it and praise it – 4.20 + Easter Sunday
18. Hold your ground
19. Always be aware that you are part of Something Bigger – Earth Day (April 22nd)
20. Be open to suggestions/be open to change
21. Be brave
22. Make it beautiful
23. Make it happen
24. 
25. Do nothing, feel everything
26. 
27. Celebrate the Child Inside – Mexico’s Día del Niño (April 30th)
28. Work it – Labor Day (May 1st)
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Contemplating Angels

So the Mother of the “Doobie-Brothers” that live across the office passed away the other day. That’s what we call the guys from out front that sell Herb and other stuff…thanks to them Sunday mornings smell sweet, making the day coast along like the waves.
God knows if they also consume the rest of the shit they deal; they’ve been busted by the cops a couple of times – white pick-up with  bright blue and red lights to match, but as far as I know they’ve never been disrespectful to any of us girls at work.

The day after the First Night of Mourning,  one of them was sitting on the stairs on the street leading up to our building. He was wearing the same black sunglasses he regularly uses to cover his blood-shot, sparkling eyes…that day, I’m sure that no matter how much he smoked there wouldn’t have been any glitter in them at all. 😦

As I walked up the stairs, bashfully asking for permission to pass, I stammered into asking about the Doña; he nodded and say yes. I asked about the little girl, his 4-year old daughter that his mother takes care off – he said she was fine; so I asked about him, and of course he said he was the same.Then, an awkward milli-second where despite deeply feeling his pain, all that came out of my mouth was “buen día”.

Really?

Good day??
How the hell do you expect him to have a good one on the day his mom dies of cancer???

Nice one, Andy! Whose smoking crack now? 😐
Geez.

Upon entering the office, I immediately asked the girls how one expresses their condolences in Mexican street talk. There were a lot of suggested formal expressions, but none of them seemed to convey what I would’ve wanted to say.
EPIC FAIL!

5 minutes after, still not being able to get over of how such an idiot I was, I clipped a fully bloomed yellow rose from one of the office plants, opened the gate and walked back to where The Neighbor was sitting…

“Perdón, no sabía que decir más temprano. Pero tal vez pueden poner esto en el altar de su Mamá…lo siento mucho.”
(“Excuse me, I didn’t know what to say earlier. But maybe you can put this flower on your Mother’s altar…I’m really sorry.”)

He said thank you, and I went back to work.

Nope.

Definitely wasn’t the typical neighborly exchange, but it was much more genuine and heartfelt than most of the conversations I’ve had all week. For a moment, their tabloid-worthy narco-story was a non-issue; all of a sudden the judgement melted away and they were just another family that lost a mother, wife, and grandmother.
So what if they have a not-so-clandestine illegal drug-store operating from home? 

At the end of the day, weren’t they just Humans suffering pain and loss?

At least for now, how they make a living is irrelevant.
RIP to the Doña from across the street.

~8~


My first experience of death within the family (that I remember about anyway) was when my grandfather died. Lolo – gramps in Filipino. Jose Molina Alberto.

I don’t remember what I was told about what was truly UP, or what was going on…what of Death, After Life. I do remember being SOOO chicken-shit about ghosts though.
(TRUE STORY! Parts of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen? I have learned to delete from my mind, but only after feeling intense fear of whatever the heck it was in the first place! :Ç)


~8~


I first had to explain death to Ananta at 3.
Our cat Pushkin died. (He was murdered, actually – by the biggest tomcat in the neighborhood. Another TRUE STORY)

I told her Pushkin died, which means we wouldn’t be seeing his body any longer. So what will happen is, his body Will Go Back to the Earth, and his Spirit? It will go to the Sky, where Great Spirit Is.

(Great Spirit is The One that gives Life to All – the bushes, bugs, birds, beasts etc…Everything that lives has a Spirit, and it all comes from Hunab Ku, where Great Spirit lives. )


So, we can be sad for a moment, but its more beautiful to remember our departed loved ones**, because that’s when they Live On Forever in our Hearts, and become Angels!

**This is what I love about Mexico! They celebrate the Day of the Dead – celebrate as in fiesta! Food, flowers, mariachi…it could be the whole shebang! Or simply, making a colorful altar with pictures and offerings to Nuestros Muertitos (Our Beloved Dead) – which they did in playschool, thankfully! Because I didn’t grow up with that tradition.

~8~


So today It Came To Me that remembering our Ancestors is a practice that I should be inculcating into my Little One…

Ancestors.
AKA Dead Loved Ones.
But also, The Living Elders.

Los Abuel@s
Si Lol@
(AKA Grandma and Gramps)
Including Ti@s. Padrinos. Madrinas. (siiii! lets visit the Madrinas!!!)

Which means, I think that’s what we should be doing for her birthday!!!! The idea is to do something for the first time, so it will be better remembered…

Her 4th.
(Already?! I know! Damn…)

On her 3rd it was dolphins, this year let it be the rest of the animal kingdom! A museum trip! And remembering my Abuelos, her bis-abuelos from my side.
(I´m so grateful that she´s met her bis-abuela Hilda from E´s side!)

Mmm…
It doesn’t hurt to dream out loud and ask for help from our Ancestors and Angels, right? 😉