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In Memoriam

My father passed on April 22nd, 2016. Born the 25th of January, 1945, he was 71 years old.

It had already been a long time since I saw him last. I left Manila for a trip to Mexico on July 6th, 2005, and didn’t return until April 13th of this year.

My original plan was to visit later this year, in July, for at least a month. But my dad was hospitalized in early April, and waiting until then didn’t seem like a good idea.

I’m glad I didn’t wait. And I am so grateful for how “easy” it was for me to get here…from getting our US visas (from Mexico to Manila, passing through the US is the fastest and cheapest way to go) – including scheduling the interviews, having a place to stay that was close to the embassy, going around town, the interview itself, and getting our passports back – to purchasing the tickets, and missing 3 weeks of work…everyone has been so incredibly supportive and loving during this time…I am infinitely grateful. ♡♡♡

10 years, almost 11, actually.
Despite the way technology has been able to bring people living on opposite sides of the globe closer, Papa and I didn’t really form that cybernetic bond. Yes, we texted once in a while…but he wasn’t on Facebook, nor did we Skype or use any other video chat service.

Bummer…a bit.
I guess at the end of the day we were so connected that we didn’t need that kind of noospheric communication…we were into telepathy! 😉

My father introduced me to All That Is Divine. He opened my Heart and my Spirit to a realm where Myth, Mystery and Magic abound.

When I arrived we talked and caught up (the next evening we went back to the ICU, and his condition steadily declined from thereon)…funny how he asked about my trip to the desert, which was my biggest spiritual awakening and something that marked my path like no other heart-opening experience did.

I am so grateful my daughter Ananta Malaya was able to meet my father when he was still relatively strong, and not when he was already frail and in the hospital. They hugged, and talked in her mother tongue – Spanish, a language he learned when he was in Mexico, trying to win my mom over. Oh Love!

As a tribute to my first love (Papa)…a new and colorful scar, close to one I already have for my biggest love (Ananta)…

whole back

Ang Sarimanok ni Tete

Tete…the name people knew the Hon. Jose Ubalde Alberto Jr. by – my father.
A manok (rooster), because he was very much into cockfighting, and the Sarimanok…because it is a medium to the spirit world, etc.

I love you, Pa. Always, in all ways.

*Thank you to Mia Loca of Chronic Ink Philippines, for my wonderful new tattoo.

3

When It Feels Big…

It’s tonight, actually…what I’m preparing for.

I’ve had several dreams and visions as to what I want to create in my Life, but only recently did I start to take all of it seriously. I’ve worked with my mentor on 2 separate group programs before, but this time we’re doing 1-1.
Intense. Intimate (which freaks the frick out of me). Enlightening.

He asked me to perform ritual of some kind to mark my commitment to my Vision. My first thoughts were a Temazcal (aka sweat lodge) on the full moon (Wednesday next, 10.8.2014), but The Bigger Picture had bigger plans for me…
No Temazcal next week, but there is one tonight…followed by an Ayahuasca Ceremony.
Yes, my Soul said. Lets do this.

But how to prepare for something so big?

After getting the basic details down (who, when, where, what and how of it all), and making work and home arrangements (funny…somebody else was already working my same hours, so asking to getting tomorrow off and an earlier time today was not as difficult. Winking back at you, Universe! 😉 ), physical, mental, emotional and spiritual preparations were needed…

Sleeping bag – check!
Backpack – check!
Contents of backpack – check!
Medicine bag – check!
Contents of Medicine Bag – check!

Let's do this

Felt like I was packing for the desert

Cleared the Body – a little bit of movement & abstinence (an odd pair, but what the heck)
Cleared the Mind – little bit of journaling + lots of reflection
Cleared the Heart – acknowledged and stayed with all the emotions that came up, even the fear
Cleared the Soul – with a little bit of Song

staring blankly into Space helps calm the Mind

staring blankly into Space helps calm the Mind

This Is IT.
I’m diving deep.
So help me, God.

#dp

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What School?

A fellow blogger was intrigued by the idea of Soul School when I mentioned it on the previous post. Indeed…it does seem like something that could be found in Neutopia.

You know that saying “It takes a Village to raise a Child“?
Well, it is one of the basic tenets of SS. Because for the school, its collaborators and the children to thrive, active participation of The Whole Village is required.
Community is key.

So, what IS Soul School?

In a nutshell…It Is an EVOLutionary Educational Center for Children from Pre-School to Prepa Age.

The Idea of Soul School first came to me when Ananta was still a baby, but my Soul started to whisper it into my consciousness well before she was conceived.

Early in my University days, I was drawn to the idea of practicing Yoga. I never did take any classes until after I got my engineering degree (took me 6 years!), and even then I didn’t enroll in that Ashtanga class until a year or two into my stay-cation in Mexico (I went on vacation, and have not returned since). This was when I had a job and the moolah to actually pay for a class. 😀 But not long after, I quit slaving away for “The Man” and went in search of The Woman I Am. ❤

For a year, I became a Rainbow-Making Tree-Hugger slash Compost-Mixer. Somewhere around that time I told my co-workers I was going to a 4-day prayer ceremony…and didn’t return till 2 months later. 😀

vista hermosa

Backpacking to Tenochtitlan, camping behind the pyramids,
losing all my stuff, finding a bunch of feathers as compensation;
walking up and down mountains,
dreaming with my Spirit guides,
singing in the desert,
finding my Medicine…
they were The Most Magical Days of my life.

plant yourself strong

desert 172 - Estacion Wadley, Mexico

As fate would have it, I returned to the city, close to the sea. From here, I walk into a New World & Being, as those across the wild Pacific hold vigil for my dreams. The Land of my Birth awaits my return…

Soul School.

We learn in a circle, from the ground UP, under trees or thatched roofs…palapa, they call them here…kubo, back home. (not in chairs, lined up in rows, with the teacher standing)

We learn to Work The Land, Hunt, Build, Beautify, Meditate, Appreciate;

Re-Create Time,
Commune with the Stars,
Feed to the Fire, Flow with the Waters,
Honor
the Sacred Air We Share.

We learn to Read the Sky,
Count our Blessings,
Experiment with Possibility,
Speak our Truth.

Here,
We tend to the Temple, our Bodies
Listen to the Voices of the Mind
Open The Heart
Free The Spirit.

Here,
We School the Soul.

We’re Championing the Star Children.

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Life’s Current Settings

Amorcita Ananta,

It’s 1.24am.
You are sleeping of course, and a dream about Felipe Calderon, Mexico’s previous president, giving a speech about the True Function of Government, woke me.
We are in Mexico (Puerto Vallarta, where you were born), and yesterday the country celebrated 204 years of independence from Spanish rule. (Whether Mexicans and the rest of the modern world are truly free is another story.)

image

Its funny…I write to you now in English, because my brain thinks in this language (even if I was born in the Philippines, another ex-Spanish colony), but your brain currently speaks in Spanish, the Mexican kind.

You’re learning a lot in school, growing faster than I could have ever imagined possible, but you like it…school, I mean…for the moment anyway. 🙂

My Dream though, is to educate you myself, as did my Mama, your Abuelita, until I entered first grade at 6 years old. But The Dream is to create Soul School…a Progressive + Evolutionary Learning Center for (Star) Children. I was to build it for you…alas! I am no where near! But dont worry! Since the curriculum will be based on Yogic principles, I’ve almost completed my Teacher Training requirements, and already specialized in Kids Yoga. We’re getting there, Baby!

I’ve come to realize however, that while the world needs for us all to wake up and act ASAP, it doesn’t mean it all has to be realized NOW. You are young and you are my priority (after Spirit, and my Self), not a class of God-lings, much less a whole school of you.

In the meantime, Life revolves around morning rituals (Alone Time before you wake, then slowly transitioning your Body+Mind from Dream Time to Waking Life), breakfast + prepping for the rest of the day, kindergarten then daycare for you/work at Mexico Fun for me, reuniting in the late afternoon, shower + dinner together, evening rituals (brushing teeth, story-telling, praying then lullabies/mantras), and some time after you sleep…writing. Whether it’s for the completion of the new book (Evolutionary Erotica compilation), the blog (this one, or the other one), or simply chronicling dreams in my journal…it’s part of life.

2.23am. The computer is still scanning and is at 9%. I’m “writing” this on to my phone. Funny how when I was a kid writing actually meant using your hand (right or left), a pen/cil and paper…but now tapping your fingers on a small screen is considered writing too.

Things change, Love. Beings Evolve…always, in all ways. Remember that, and Be Conscious about It. I love you.

Hasta El Infinito,
Mami ❤

#writing 101

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Mic Test #2 – Tidied Up Shitty First Draft :)

123

Just watched the Thrive: What On Earth Will It Take documentary.
2hours+12minutes of my Life.
and Now
free-writing
about
Who I Am and Why I Am Here.

Hmmm…lets start with where we are:
(provide a background for the rest of these 20 minutes)

Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco.
9.14.2014, 10.08pm
The night hurricane Odile touches land in the Baja area. Category 4 Hurricane…a beautiful swirl of water and rain washing down the jaws of the whale. (We are in Mexico. The 14th biggest “country” in the World…on the map the shape of it looks like a whale. To me anyway.)

No rain here…we are protected in the cove of this coast…Bahia de Banderas. Bay of the Flags. (an interesting story here)

I didn’t realize I am standing on sacred Ground!!!

Who Am I and Why Am I Here?

I am Momma Goddess.
*Hot*

Who is at the center of my torus?

(Antibiotic break…for nasal polyps, so the doctor says)

My daughter sleeps.
(I don’t like this voice…)

Hello. Its nice to be here again!
(I think I’m already at 10minutes…)

Geewhiz! Free-writing, without even reading while I write, editing, or looking back….just typing down the dictation of The Moment…not easy! 🙂

Sigh…
Its starting to drizzle. I wonder how close we will be to Odille’s eyes…I guess we only get the whippings of her tail.

Please don’t rain tomorrow! I’m finally getting my 60-minute Cupocity massage at Victoria Spa!
I deserve this, don’t I?
A little bit of loving, in the hands of another.
So does Every body else in the World too!
Thrive…
Lets!

10.22pm
23…
5 more minutes.

Ananta sleeps…while I dream (debate?) about going to Cancun…to visit more Sacred Sites. Present Her to the Temple.
Meet up with Blood and Soul Sisters.
Re-connect. Re-charge.
In celebration of my 32nd.

Why not right? 😉
Navigate The System…
Work It, Girl!

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The Medicine Tree

If Humans are the bottom-dwellers in a Sea of Air,
and our planet is just another particle in an Ocean of Space…
then boy, do we have a heck of a lot more evolving to do!

Let us be more like Trees!

So unmistakably connected to the Earth and Sky,
they ground Light into the material plane
and as a WASTE PRODUCT produce Life-Giving Air
~ Prana ~
What a wonderful Energy-exchange!

(I wouldn’t mind Working It day-in/day-out if what I produced was that inspiring! Although what I currently get paid to write during the day satisfies one’s needs, it doesn’t seem to fulfill this One’s Desires…)

One must take the time to Truly Inhabit The 3-Dimensional Spacesuit though.

When you don’t…
the Body languishes,
the Heart connections are cold
the Mind is loose,
and Energy leaks out of you like a bleeding mother fucker.

How though?
How does one Incarnate?

Sorry.
   Can’t answer that for you, buddy!
It is a deeply personal quest and noBody else can know but You.

But for this Body,
Alone-Time is VITAL.
(Preferably before the Sun and the Little Ray of Light rises. <3)

Turn on from Within.
Tune in to the Silence.
Drop in to the Void.
This is Yoga.
~ Union ~

And this is what I write about in the evenings…
Red Ramblings.

Like a Tree,
I Take In all that is,
was
and could be
of Every Moment, of every day
and with these words
I ripple out my Best Desires for All into Sacred Space.

Some nights are steamier than others…
smoke dances,
the mist rises
and falls,
like my bare chest
as I try to make Beauty of it All,
even in Pain.

There is no greater Fulfillment than Birthing into Being the Divine Inside.
What Medicine do you exhale?